INTERVIEW We met up with Polyethylene Pet in their offices at Precognitive Records. Various members spoke freely, as a cloud, with customary humour and obliquity.
So, we understand you have a new album in the works?
sure we do...	oh, yes - you should definitely wait for it...	it'll be good. we hope to get Mike Johnson and Dave Willey (from Thinking Plague and Hamster Theatre) on it.	...and maybe Kerman...	yeah, that's gonna happen...	and others...	Bette Midler...	Lassie....
What's it going to be like?
a lot like a Wednesday...	more like a Friday, i'd think...
Will there be a lot of new music on it?
there's music on it???	i think i told them that... or something to that effect...	oh? well, then.	i don't believe there's any music on it, per se...			it will be new though if it actually comes out.
How would you describe Polyethylene Pet?
	we're a conceptual art composition.	we're a collective of one		plus1		we're puppetmasters.	we're a refreshing new lime drink.
What is your relationship with +1?
... ah yes, the alien...	it depends. it's largely sexual. [laughs]	+1 is our favourite programmed broadcast...[suddenly everyone shouts] WK40! [and then sotto voce] this is CWK40	they perform certain ...functions... for us. all useful things in the right context.	i thought Side Effect Souls was brilliant! good stuff. this comment bought for you by Red Balloon.	Side Effect Souls, brilliant?. what a crock! [laughs all around]	of course, we're purely conceptual whereas they're completely imaginary.	yeah, that's the basic relationship.
Actually, isn't it true that +1's never played their own show? Only as part of Polyethylene Pet performances?
they don't exist, except at our shows, that's true.	and their recordings	right.		they disappear when i sleep...		we all do.	that's right. [laughs all around]
And, apparently "+1" is also a Christian boy band???
no fucking way!	that's true.	and thus now a large rectal vacuum	right.	WAY and, i guess, WORD also [laughs]	a Christian boy band? seriously? i hadn't heard that one.	google it. we came first, though, of course. we came long before.	yes. we always do... [laughs]
What about Natalie Tonebasher from "The Dali Dramas"?
		She's quite real.	Yoko Ono meets George Clinton and the Spice Girls	... more like George Forman...	yes, and also, as i recall she was a novel, a doctor and a steamship or some such?	a destroyer on the sea of love.	that was it! [laughs]
Your concerts are known to be quite abstract and yet musical and fun. How do you manage that?
really? known by who?	of course, our last show was 27 years ago, so it's hard to remember. [laughs]	well, this newest "concert" of ours is totally imaginary. so is this interview. is that abstract?	is it fun ???	we don't play at our shows, +1 does that for us. it's all part of the agreement.	we do love doing concerts, as long as we don't have to be there.	our concerts tend to be about the concert experience.	we're only a rock band at the meta-level [laughs]
Yes, speaking of which: what is the idea behind this new piece?
	we just wanted to create a unique online experience using simple but effective tech.	we did?	i did.	he who must be obeyed. [laughs all around]	this is how the next +1 show would look and sound, were they to have one, which they won't, as far as we know.	but it would look and sound exactly like this.	except the band wouldn't look as good.
Thanks for speaking to us, you guys.
sure, our pleasure.	yeah, ok.		anytime...	come back with money next time.		thanks for talking with us.	take care of yourself. [laughs all around]
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